top - Bisou Bisou/JCP
high-waist jeans - Mossimo/Target
pumps - Call It Spring/JCP
I went to the doctor today for my annual visit. (For my lady parts.) I've visited this doctor a few times now, and she has always made me feel very comfortable. When she asked about updates to my health records - any new surgeries, medications, etc. - I advised her of my knee surgery in April. She asked if I was feeling better and I said no, that I was in the same amount of pain, it put me out for 4 months, and I gained a bit of weight too. ←Very matter of fact-ly. For the record.
She then asked me if I had a general practitioner, to which I replied no. She advised me on getting one... especially for "weight management". I told her I wasn't interested, and at this point the conversation should have stopped.
But, alas, it did not. What happened next is a little fuzzy, because I immediately felt uncomfortable and attacked. I was told that I needed to get "control" of my weight because my BMI is 36 and I'm obese. That obesity is a "disease" and I could have high blood pressure, diabetes, etc. I said "but I don't have high blood pressure, do I?" and I was told I was "missing the point". To which I replied that I was not. I was told that I should lose weight so my knee will get better to which I replied that my weight is not the cause of my knee problem, my knee has caused some weight gain. I told her "I need to see an orthopedic specialist, NOT go on a diet." I was asked "don't you want to exercise?" to which I said "I do exercise, I just suffer through immense pain while I do it." It was at this point that I gave up arguing. I laid back while she continued to lecture on about how unhealthy I am (even though she had just 10 minutes ago told me that everything was "perfect"), how obesity is a disease and I need to do something about it, unless it's not a priority for me, and that's fine, but she will still continue to advise (berate) me about my health, because she is my doctor.
I am fucking livid. I'm not sure if I want to waste my time attempting to educate my doctor on HAES, or just find a new doctor. Given her attitude towards me when I tried to explain that I am healthy and I'm not interested in losing weight, I don't think she's open to hearing any other side of this argument. It was clearly a problem the second I decided I wasn't going to be a "good fatty" and just agree with her.
Yeah... no, I need to find a new doctor.
Health is multidimensional, extremely personal, not an obligation, not entirely within our control, and doesn't define our worth.
I don't know when doctors decided it was their job to act like my mommy and daddy and I'm 5 years old. I am paying you to do a job. Do it, and STFU. I only go in to get birth control and make sure I don't have cancer. My weight has nothing to do with this, and is none of your fucking business. Also, getting a doctorate degree does not mean you are all knowing. Just because a bunch of doctors agreed to target fat people as "unhealthy", does not mean they are right in their crusade. One can be fat and fit, just like one can be thin and unfit. Also, there's this:
In addition, NO ONE is obligated to be healthy, or make health a priority. If I want to shove sticks of butter in my face on a daily basis, that is my choice. Nothing gives anyone the right to tell me how to live my life. If I want to see a general practitioner, that is up to me. If I want to get cancer and die, that is up to me too. The last time I checked, this was MY life, and I get to decide how to live it.
BTW, I don't accept the "burden on the cost of healthcare" or whatever argument one uses as a disguise for fat hate. As is the case on every post, but especially here, if comments to that affect are made, I will delete them. I don't need to give you a platform. This is a body-positive place. You can take your fat hate to the other 99% of the internet that allows (and welcomes!) that shit. Also, see this, so you're more informed and less spouting bullshit out of your ass because I offended your poor, sensitive eyeballs.
P.S. I spoke with Marilyn Wann (who is awesome! ...BTW) and she provided me with this - www.fatfriendlydocs.com - as a resource to find a fat friendly doc (as is the name!). I felt hopeless prior to this and now I have hope that I can locate a doctor that will not make me feel like shit first thing in the morning, contradict herself, use me as her fat punching bag, and fuck my entire day up.